Throwback: My First BF

Good evening fellow bloggers,

It is technically 9 minutes past 1 on a Tuesday morning here in the UK and I have work in less than 6 hours so I should really go to sleep. However, of course my brain is in overdrive so I thought I’d take a stab at a post.

Tonight’s post is a little prompt as it were, from my dear friend Danieeeeel. Shout out to him on my blog. He’s such a gem, once he gets his wordpress blog up and running, I’ll give him a link here. Basically, one evening at work, Dan decided to create three blog prompts for me to try and regulate my posting. I picked this one because it seemed amusing. So we’re having a little throwback tonight, back to a time that seems so very long ago. Back to the days of My Chemical Romance, winged eyeliner, multi-coloured skinny jean and thinking I was badass trying to low-ride… *shivers*

On the left – check out me and my homegal with our emo scene screaming wardrobe…

So Dan suggested I write a blog post about my first proper boyfriend. HERE we have it – for the purpose of this poat, alll names have been changed for privacy!

Right. So, here goes.

Continue reading “Throwback: My First BF”

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Three words that mean the world and more

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“I love you”

Said he, followed by my name. There was nothing but sincerity in his voice when he said it. It was a sleepy mumble from his mouth and instantly everything changed. My day has been shit, but he comes home and changes that completely.

I remember the first time he said those three words. I didn’t know how to react, my heart was in my throat but I had known for a long time that I was madly in love with him. So immediately I smiled and said “I know.” He frowned and I laughed but I said I love you. There was no too on the end of it either, because it was pure and raw and extremely heart felt. Just simply, I love you.

These three words are said too much, and I think they’ve lost their meaning along the way. It’s not about saying the words anymore. It’s about showing the person that you love them. There are a million and one ways, my boyfriend and I express our love – but sometimes, words are enough.

We’ve been together for three years now, and every day my love for him grows stronger. I was asked by my mother the other day – “is this it then?”

I’m twenty two. I’ve got my whole life to figure out, but there is one thing I’m sure of and its him. I replied to my mother by saying:

“if by ‘is this it’, you mean not a moment going by where I don’t think about him, where I can’t imagine my life without him, where all of my greatest achievements have him standing by my side, and where I can wake up every day and go to sleep every night, opening and closing my eyes to his face, then yes. This is it.”

Nothing is more perfect than imaging that, forever. Now I can paint you a picturesque perfect relationship, but ours isn’t “perfect”, by any means. Of course, we’ve had our fair share of ups and downs and sometimes we fight. There are nights we go to sleep without speaking – it’s painful and upsetting, but it’s real.

A relationship cannot function without a little tension or upset or anger. but when you work through it and you make up, you realise that everything will be okay. You come out stronger. Communication is key.

For a long time in my relationship I was scared to speak up, about my feelings, about anything. It’s something I’m known for, I don’t like causing conflict, but sometimes it’s necessary otherwise things won’t change.

During these past three years, a lot has changed, but we’ve grown together, and we continue to grow. Our spark hasn’t died, it’s flourishing. It grows brighter every single day. We’re currently conquering a bit of long distance, but even that hasn’t set us back: it’s made us realise how much we care for each other. And how much space we have left to grow.

I am so thankful for him and for the happiness he brings to my life. I could write forever, but my back is getting sore because I’m typing this on my phone whilst the poorly boy is fast asleep in my lap(!) romance at its best.

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