Throwback: My First BF

Good evening fellow bloggers,

It is technically 9 minutes past 1 on a Tuesday morning here in the UK and I have work in less than 6 hours so I should really go to sleep. However, of course my brain is in overdrive so I thought I’d take a stab at a post.

Tonight’s post is a little prompt as it were, from my dear friend Danieeeeel. Shout out to him on my blog. He’s such a gem, once he gets his wordpress blog up and running, I’ll give him a link here. Basically, one evening at work, Dan decided to create three blog prompts for me to try and regulate my posting. I picked this one because it seemed amusing. So we’re having a little throwback tonight, back to a time that seems so very long ago. Back to the days of My Chemical Romance, winged eyeliner, multi-coloured skinny jean and thinking I was badass trying to low-ride… *shivers*

On the left – check out me and my homegal with our emo scene screaming wardrobe…

So Dan suggested I write a blog post about my first proper boyfriend. HERE we have it – for the purpose of this poat, alll names have been changed for privacy!

Right. So, here goes.

Continue reading “Throwback: My First BF”


Monday Memory // 26th Ocotober 2011


Good morning and happy Monday fellow bloggers,

I know many of you will be feeling the Monday  morning blues, and quite rightly, the weekend goes far too quickly. I am one who feels Monday quite heavily, and it’s a day that I wish I could spend warm and cosy in my bed. However, today is a special Monday for me, and this post is an appreciation for it. It is also dedicated to my one and only, because on this day four years ago, I met Conner.

In today’s post, I will be delving into a bit of personal garbage, so I’m inserting this as a pre-warning. I am happily sharing this on my blog because it’s a personal reflection for me, and a memoir I’m happy to revisit – but it’s up to you if you want to read on 🙂 I promise, the literary blog posts will be back later today!

Today, I am taking a trip down memory lane, back to this day four years ago on the 26th October 2011. On this day, four years ago, a complete stranger walked into my life.

I had no idea what was in store and in fact I was completely blindsided. I didn’t see it coming. We met, we talked, I thought he was a bit strange (but in a good way!) I was down in Plymouth visiting my best friend who had moved down in September for University. I had heard all about her flatmates as we were in constant contact, and of course, I got to know them by name and was incredibly excited to meet the people who had been flatted with my best friend for the best part of a year. When I arrived in Plymouth, I met all five of her housemates and they were all pleasant enough. Conner took me by surprise – he was incredibly tall, 6ft5 in fact, and me being the little 5ft2 and a half inches that I am, was actually quite intimidated by him – and he has resting bitch face most of the time, so I just thought he was always grumpy. On the first night, Poppy made me and my other two friends feel extremely welcome and us and her new flatmates all went iceskating – how romantic. At this point, I still wasn’t that taken with Conner, until I fell flat on my ass and he skated over like a prince and helped me up.

On the way home, I was cold and grumpy, he offered me his coat. I remember being really rude and I refused to take it, but that didn’t put him off. He still kept talking. It was strange, I spent four wonderful days visiting my best friend, and only two of those days did I interact with Conner. After a compulsory University night out, and not returning home until about 5 in the morning, Conner had to leave as he was going to Southampton with his other friends for a few days. He said goodbye and I thought that was it, I wouldn’t really see him again.

Until he text me later in the evening. I had given him my number the night before – my drunk brain was rooting for us, clearly.

After that, Conner soon became much more than a stranger to me, we’d talk all through the night, and we’d text every day. Suddenly he became the one I wanted to talk to about everything and anything, he became my best friend, my ray of sunshine, my absolute world.

Back in October 2011, I was stuck in this black void of loss, grief and despair. The previous year had been an extremely difficult one, and I was battling with some terrible demons and the emotional pain was crippling. I truly believed I would be stuck in this dark emotional vortex forever. But, something changed. The minute I met him, the pain seemed to ease a little and my days suddenly began to grow brighter and for the first time in a long time, my smile was genuine.

To this very day, he still makes my days that little bit sunnier, even when the clouds are grey and the rain is heavy. He doesn’t know the full extent, but he’s picked up the broken pieces of me and helped put me back together. His love has lifted me to great heights, and I honestly cannot put into words how grateful I am for his constant love and support. He’s made these past four years incredible and I hope that there will be many many more.

But today (and always) I want to say thank you to him, for coming into my life and making me realise that there is a whole lot of happiness to give and receive.

I know that the future is unpredictable and who knows what will happen, but right now, in this moment I will never forget this feeling, or that feeling four years ago. Every single day he surprises me, and it’s incredible because every single day, I fall even more in love with him.

I pray that everyone can find someone who will make their dark days feel lighter. I am so incredibly lucky to have found someone so kind and caring. It may have only been four years, but the last four years have been phenomenal and I’ve come a long way since then, and this post and today serves as a constant reminder of that.

So there we have it, today’s a special day in my world. I hope you all are having a special Monday too. Keep wishing, dreaming and having hope. You never know what’s just around the corner!

All the love ❤️